By John Thurman
For the past few weeks I have been up to my eyeballs in finishing up my soon to be released second book, Get a Grip on Fear: A Primer for Entrepreneurs, that is the major reason that I have not posted anything since Holy Week.
I have been thinking about my relationship with my wife Angie for the past few weeks, in light of the loss of my parents as well as some of the exciting growth that we as a couple are experiencing I wanted to take a moment to encourage you in your marriage.
You deserve to be in a meaningful and rewarding relationship! The question is; are you ready to do your part to make it happen?
Relationships are tough because we think we are normal and everyone else is weird or “disordered.” This attitude shows up in many male/female relationships. Suddenly your prize has become a surprise. When it all comes down to it, I believe that in many ways women are more complex than men.
For instance, think about your personal care items when you travel. This week I will be head back East and today I was checking my “go bag” to make sure all of the necessities are in there As a guy I have toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, floss, and cologne. If you noticed my picture, I do not require a comb. My wife on the other hand has all that plus hair care products, lotions, facial treatments, on and on it goes. She says its because when men travel we tend think about the context of being functional while women tend to think about being fashionable.
One part of building a stronger relationship and winning your woman’s heart is to know what you need to be doing.
The first things guys can do to make their woman happy is to see your relationship as a job. Ladies, I know this doesn’t sound very romantic, but the findings are based on solid research.
Guys, here is your job description for being in a long-term relationship.
First, love her, honor her, and respect her.
Second, be sexually and emotionally faithful to her. This means both in the real world and in the digital world.
Third, listen to her without being judgmental. We guys are hard wired to problem solve. Sometimes she does not need that. She just wants us to listen.
Fourth, support and nurture her ambitions both in and outside of the home.
Fifth, make a honest effort to understand how she is different emotionally. Our mission is not to change her, but to acknowledge and respect our differences as men and women.
Sixth, be honest and always do what you say you will do. There is no room for lies about infidelity, addiction issues, or other important matters that reflect who you are. Be accountable for what’s important – the crucial stuff, your promises.
Seventh, share in child care and domestic work.
Eighth, be attentive, fun-loving, and pursue her like you did when you were first dating.
Ninth, be affectionate. This means more than cuddling or holding hands, but a deep sense of connection. If a woman doesn’t feel connected to you, she will leave you at some level.
Let me know what you think.
John is a Counselor, Author, Speaker and Photographer that helps people "Get a Grip on Life."