Doesn’t that salad look good?
Last year I had the fortune of traveling to Marseille, France to work with some friends who are connected to a group that helps people who are relocating.
One night they took me to a local restaurant, La Crepe Au Carre', my friend said, “You have to eat this salad, it will change your life.” His comment threw me off a little because, I thought you go to a crepe place to eat crepes. He insisted that I try this salad, and I did.
Take a look at my image of it. It is a toasted brie and almond topped salad made with fresh, local greens, and local cheese. The dressing was reduced balsamic vinegar with a hint of strawberry. As the waiter placed the salad in front of me, a warm, sweet, aromatics of the dressing, the toasted cheese and almonds stimulated both my imagination and my appetite. As one of my old Georgia friends would say, "That looks almost to eat pretty.
Well, I ate it. And I consumed that delicious blend of cheese, nuts, and greens in a slow, deliberate manner. I felt like I had a Mardi Gras in my mouth. My friend's words were true; it did change my life. That wonderful evening of food and fellowship, a time of savoring food, and hearing about the work that God is doing in people's lives never gets old.
To savor something is to taste or smell it. It means to linger over or dwell on.
Having traveled a little bit in Turkey, Israel, Jordan, and France I get a little frustrated at how fast we live our lives in America. Fast food, constant connectivity, speed dating, always rushing. While I would never trade off the blessings of living in this great country, I am reminded, at least when I travel that there are times that we need to slow down. Times when we need to break bread with friends and family. Times when we can intentionally savor our relationship, our blessings, and yes, delicious food.
One of the easiest tools we use as we continue to look at ways to regain our vision and overcome depression is to savor pleasant memories; past answers to prayer; a meaningful Scripture verse; and positive, meaningful words spoken to you. When we purposely reflect and meditate on these types of good, positive things, our brains begin to move toward health.
Take a few moments and think about it.
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Recapture Your Vision
Work on Balance
Businesses, life, and relationships that are vibrant and productive are powered by a vision. One of the keys to pushing back the negative, building relationship, expanding your business is to keep your balance.
Maintaining balance is critical to breaking the bonds of depression. When I ride a bicycle, which is a sight to behold, I am constantly trying to stay balanced. All of the small and large muscle groups work together to keep the bicycle and me in an upright position and going in the right direction. Balance takes work. You can begin attaining balance.
1. Break out of your rut.
a. Take 100 percent responsibility for yourself. You and I hold the keys that can unlock the lock and release the chains that hold us back.
b. Think, dream and write down how you will feel better in the future.
c. Move more – even a little bit of exercise has positive benefits.
d. Read books and listen to teaching and training that put good, healthy thoughts in your brain. Try more self-help and Christian living and less fiction.
2. Remember and repeat past joyful, fulfilling experiences. Begin by remembering, looking at photos, and reflecting on good things. Read through and work on the Experience Gratitude section.
3. Re-embrace your relationship with God. Jesus loves you more than you will ever know, and He specializes in working with people who feel messed up and disconnected. Take a moment; ask Him to draw you close. Then don’t be surprised when He does.
4. Don’t overplay the negative. Overthinking the past does little to improve it. The rest of this resource is designed to give you practical, biblical tools to help you move toward hope and a renewed sense of purpose and intentional living.
From Get a Grip on Depression, by John Thurman
What is intimacy? One definition of intimacy is that it is an act of a familiar expression serving as a token of familiarity, affection, and love.
I believe as a culture we have lost some of the important components of intimacy by limiting it to just a physical response.
There has been some breakthrough research that shows which there are at least five different areas of intimacy! Take a moment and grade yourself in each area, and then ask you partner to do the same.
The first is intellectual intimacy. On this level couples are able to talk about current events, share ideas and thoughts, even debate political and religious topics. They are able to participate jointly in the exchange of thoughts and ideas.
The second area of intimacy is recreational intimacy. This means that there are some recreational activities that a couple enjoys together. It does not mean that they do everything together.
The third area of intimacy is social intimacy. After decades of marriage, my wife and I realized that its completely okay for her to have her friends and me to have my friends as long as we share some "we" friends. Couple friendships can be a bonus to the relationship by being a sounding board, providing feedback, and accountability.
Spiritual intimacy is the fourth level of growing deeper together as a couple. While this area of intimacy is the most subjective, due to the various religious backgrounds & practices a couple may have, it is still a crucial component. In my opinion, one of the most important because a growing relationship is at its core spiritual in nature. Spiritual intimacy is also an important factor when and if children become a part of the family.
The fifth and final level of intimacy is physical intimacy. Sexual expression is part of our hard wiring and can be both exhilarating and invigorating for a couple, in the right context. In recent years, a major focus has been primarily on physical intimacy. We have reduced physical intimacy into a series of positions and practices based more on applied physics than on building relationships.
Could it be that one of the reasons we see so many relationships falling apart is that we have failed to understand that intimacy works on several levels? If a relationship is based primarily on sexual expression, it is doomed to fail in the long run. However, if a couple can grow in their understanding of these different levels of intimacy their relationship will experience growth in all areas. As you grow in these other areas then, sexual expression within your relationship will become more intense and meaningful. This is because it is based on getting to know your partner and being known by them.
So how can you have a better sex life? Be mindful of the five levels of intimacy and how interconnected they are.
I'd love to hear your opinion. What are some ways that you have increased intimacy in your relationship?
This list is adapted from my workshop: Get a Grip on Your Relationship, a half-day or whole day workshop for churches, ministr
John is a Counselor, Author, Speaker and Photographer that helps people "Get a Grip on Life."