Workplace Violence

From the EAP Digest, Spring 2009

"Understanding the Violent Mind" by Bruce Blythe

Why Do People Become Violent?

To understand the violent mind, we must step into the shoes of typical violence-prone individuals and observe their rationale from within: . . . Imagine that you are someone who feels deeply inferior and inadequate when you compare yourself to others. This low self-esteem is pushed one step below your conscious awareness to protect you from the resulting emotional discomfort. The task at hand now becomes to continually guard against coming in touch with these feelings of inadequacy. To compensate, you devise ways to feel superior to others. This happens when you can manipulate, deceive, intimidate, violate or otherwise control others. Symbols of power and self-importance are used to deny your feelings of inadequacy, e.g., guns, money, materialism, powerful cars, military uniforms, sexual prowess, gang membership, etc. When confronted with personal failures and rejections, you focus the blame outward. It has to be someone else's fault, or else you must look inward where uncomfortable and painful feelings of inadequacy are lingering. Words or actions that are perceived as put-downs can pierce your attempted veil of superiority over others. This puts you at an emotional disadvantage and leaves you feeling vulnerable. Protection of dignity, self-worth, and pride is all consuming, so that others become the object for bolstering your sagging ego. There is a sense of entitlement (you owe me). Others are capable of inflicting deep emotional pain (which you don't want to admit) and vulnerability is to be avoided at all costs. Thus, interpersonal relationships are kept at a distance. If your symbols of power and success become threatened or ineffective, violence and coercion are seen as a means of controlling the threatening situation. You develop a direct association between the use of intimidation or violence and your ability to dominate or manipulate others. Alternative methods of maintaining superiority and control may become challenged or no longer seem effective. At this point, violence, coercion, aggression, and intimidation become rational choices to protect your sense self-worth and to get what you need to feel adequate.

Given these dynamics it is clear that, from the standpoint of the violence-prone individual, they view violence as:  Goal-Oriented: Violence is goal-oriented behavior. Whether the objective of violence is to achieve goods or services, to protect one's ego or identity, to express frustration, or to right a perceived wrong, it is directed toward obtaining a desired outcome.  Rational: To the violent person, coercion is rational. Assault-prone people see destructive behavior as the best (or only) alternative, given the circumstances before them. Simply put, violence is deemed appropriate as a means of achieving a desired goal. They are typically not aware that there are better means than violence for meeting their needs and reaching their goals. This is due primarily to poor relationship skills, conflict resolution abilities and low self-esteem.    A Defense Against Low Self-Esteem: Research has correlated the violence-prone mind with low self-esteem. We are not talking about the typical insecurities and things we don't like about ourselves that we all possess. Violence-prone individuals have pathologically low self-esteem and do not know how to relate appropriately with others.    Interfacing with others on a "level playing field" is difficult because there is a tendency to feel inadequate and inferior in relation to others. To avoid these feelings of inadequacy, and in order to feel superior, the violent personality must somehow bolster self-image. This is accomplished when others are manipulated, controlled, intimidated, or violated.

What Triggers Violence?
General Provokers: Violence does not happen in a vacuum, nor are violence-prone individuals always violent. They are violent intermittently when provoked through circumstances. The intensity, duration and frequency of these provokers correlate with the probability of violence.
Intensity: The perceived intensity of a negative situation leads people to behave aggressively. For example, a minor disagreement has less impact than a full-force argument. As the violent mind evaluates the actions of another as increasingly negative, there will be a related increase in the likelihood of aggressive behavior.

Duration: The duration of an unwanted situation also increases the probability of violence. A person kept waiting for 60 minutes is much more likely to produce a hostile response than someone waiting only 5 minutes. Frustration gives rise to aggression

Frequency: The frequency of a negative situation also correlates with the likelihood of aggression or violence. The supervisor who continually will not listen to an employee's concerns is more likely to elicit a hostile response than the supervisor who fails to listen only on rare occasions.

Blame: The violence-prone individual must outwardly blame others for situations that cause emotional discomfort, especially when perceived rejection or failure are involved. Otherwise, the attention would go inward where low self-esteem is buried close below the surface.
Affixing blame involves an evaluation in the violent mind regarding whether the negative situation was:
-       Intended - on purpose;
-       Justified - fair or unreasonable;
-       Foreseeable - avoidable or predictable
Unfair: People who threaten violence or act out aggressively almost always feel unfairly treated in some manner. They have a strong sense of right and wrong, even though their beliefs may not agree with others.
Integrity: Any hint or accusation that the individual is not telling the truth (even if they are lying and sticking to their story) can cause a hostile or violent reaction.
Rejection and Failure: The violent mind tends to take failing experiences and perceived rejections straight to self-worth. They immediately focus of a vengeance. Healthier individuals realize that they can't always win or make everyone approve of them.
Money: Tied to self-worth, violence-prone individuals tend to escalate when the stress of financial difficulties arise, especially when someone else is perceived to be at blame.

Defusing Violence
Communication: Potentially violent people want to feel heard and understood. Ask them questions about how they may feel unfairly treated, or what they need to get the situation resolved. If you must deny their demands, consider deferring any decisions until a later time in order to plan out a response with others and to give the individual time to cool off.
Self-Esteem: Dignity and self-esteem are serious problems for the violent offender. Any approach at defusing violence must include regard for the worth of these individuals. The focus must be on presenting alternative behaviors that are desirable without condemning the individual. Reducing potential violence entails supplying self-esteem and self-assurance to fragile egos that are domineering, insecure, angry, and afraid.
Avoid the "Pointed Finger": Many statements and actions communicate accusation, blame, and diminished self-importance. These "pointed fingers" (both literal and symbolic) are provocative and inflammatory. What are some symbolic pointed fingers?

-       Raised voice tone, volume and intensity
-       Aggressive body posture or gestures
-       Arguing or taking a defensive posture
-       Doubting or questioning integrity (honesty)
-       Encroaching on personal space
-       A condescending or "take charge" manner
-       Threats
-       Arrogance (I'm better than you)
-       Too much or too little eye contact
-       Not listening and interrupting
-       Challenging one's dignity (self-worth) or pride

Summary: People become violent for many reasons. Ultimately, it is subjectively goal-oriented and rational. Whether it is a mother protecting her child, a road-rage driver, or a vengeful angry employee, the individual justifies violence in order to get a desired result. Defusing strategies should include respect for pride, ego and dignity issues since low self-esteem is typically correlated with violent behavior. Individuals who are predisposed to violence can be easily provoked.   When encountering a potentially violent individual, be careful not to aggravate the situation through your own behavior or statements.

The best time to prepare for defusing potentially violent people is now, before a hostile situation is before you. Our minds don't want to think about a potentially violent person targeting us. So, open your mind just long enough to clearly visualize (in your mind's eye) what you would do in likely hostile situations that could occur in your life. Think about your work, school, grocery store, parking lot, home or any other place where violence could most likely occur to you. By planting the pathways in your mind of effective responses, you will increase the likelihood that you will avoid violent behavior directed toward you.