The Needs of a Man

The Needs of a Man
by John Thurman, M.Div., M.A., LPCC

One of the most talked about subjects among married men and women today is, "How do I meet my spouse's needs?"

In seminars that I conduct for couples, I try to help women understand some of the needs men have in our relationship with our spouses. At the risk of being simplistic, there are two basic needs that men have. If these two basic needs are met, then the man of your life will begin feeling fulfilled and will learn to hold you in high regard.

When he feels needed, you can watch him give back to the relationship

The first need a man has is to feel competent. Guys need to know that we are on the right track. So many times I'll hear women complain about the lack of their husband's spiritual leadership. When a wife complains to her husband about his lack of leadership, she has no idea how much she is hurting him. Ladies, if your man is not the spiritual leader he should be, rather than complain about it, look at the spiritual things he does for the family and praise him for his efforts. Does he lead the prayer at dinner time? Does he take the family to church each week or sometimes? You'll be surprised how much more he'll do for you if you let him know you appreciate his leadership!

The second need a man has is to feel needed. Let him know how important he is in your life through words or acts of encouragement. Send him a special card or bring him a fresh cup of coffee as he reads the morning paper. Choose something that will make your man feel special. When he feels needed, you can watch him give back to the relationship. You will become more cherished and honored as wife and partner.

Here's an Action Plan for you! Build your husband's self-confidence and motivate him to action by letting him know that you need him and appreciate him! Begin your plan today!

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